Also. I've broken a promise to myself. I said I wouldn't eat junk food anymore (barring chocolates; I'm not into self-torture) but I've been bingeing all month. I lost several scraps of self discipline and self control. That will not happen again. I will NOT eat junk food this month. At all. :| I will not drink soda, either. I WILL stick to this regimen. It'll do me good in the long run. Losing weight (and DO NOT SAY that I don't need to) and saving money are worth more than a moment's satisfaction and emotional stability. I was always too volatile, anyway.
*sigh* Oh well. I wrote two new poems today. :D Both while at school. One during English class (I simply could not stand it) and one during Com Sci (even though we were watching The Italian Job) :D
Check them out?
Anyway. Hm. Tañah and I were interrogated about what we were doing in Com Sci. Can I just say, that's none of your business. I'm sorry, I've developed a lot of privacy issues over the past year. I get really touchy abouts stuff like that. I mean, we were talking about something, and you weren't part of the conversation, therefore you have no right to force us to divulge its factual content. :|
I'm really hungry right now. Oh well. As my mom tells me. "The vain can't complain." Then again... I'm not allowed to be vain, so... I do have the right to complain. YAY ME.
I'M FUCKING HUNGRY, GODDAMNIT.
Anyway. People love our bulletin board. Yeah, I have the right to be smug about that. After all. I was a pretty huge part of its creation. I helped buy the materials, I paid for half the expenses, I conceptualized the ribbon and the roller pattern, and helped put it together. Yes, that was obviously one of the few times in my academic life I've been that involved with school shiz. It was in.. my line of interest, I guess.
Speaking of. I guess I realized what sort of things I'm more partial to. I suck at anything involving math, honestly. I really really do. I hate when they get tricky and confusing and GAH. I can do alright once I've got the concepts down, but I take a while to fully understand it. Which is why I suck. I also suck at public speaking. I hate foisting my ideas down other peoples' throats. It's rude. I've contemplated for a while, and I realized. I don't REALLY suck at sports (the people who know me, STOP LAUGHING) I just.. have no will. I do NOT like being seen TRYING. That's my biggest problem with being taught one on one while people watch, too.(yeah, my piano lessons) I don't like people to see me trying. I hate it, actually. I'd rather be seen not doing anything than be seen trying and failing. Yeah, I'm proud. Yeah, that was drilled into me. Yeah, you can't do anything about it.
Anyway. I was feeling bad about myself, so as I do sometimes when I want to feel better, I went to a certain site and read up on my periodical dose of SHIT, (no, seriously) and I burst out laughing after a paragraph. Now I feel pretty damn good about myself. XD
I'm a Grammar Nazi. I don't point it out to people (that's rude, and, well, if you're confident enough to speak to ME in that way, and you're IN PISAY, then you deserve being embarrassed by someone heartless enough to point it out to you. I hope they do so loudly) but I really get ticked off when they make mistakes everyone does. It hurts my soul. (BAHAHAHAHA drama) I'm not dissing. Just saying.
I really wish it would rain. Typhoon, even. Say I'm selfish, go fuck a tree. I need to feel good. I really do. I need to be.. happy. I need to laugh without having to make sure I'm laughing at something I can explain. I need to be able to SAY things without being judged. I can barely post stuff here that I'm sure won't be judged. I guess.. I'm being guarded with myself right now. I wonder how long this will last.
My body is like a piecewise function. Awkward parts that don't exactly fit.
Honestly, I'm just tired.
~ the THINNY girl. XD
I've honestly stopped caring about what other people think. The ones that don't matter, anyway. Eventually they'll be out of my life and I won't miss them, so why give a fuck? I only care about the people who are awesome enough(like you! XD) to care about. Anyway.
ReplyDeleteAlso, stopping yourself from eating them COMPLETELY makes you binge more when you finally snap. I suggest like, eating a small bag of junk food every month or something, or a glass of soda every month. Just don't drown it out completely. Makes you crave way too much. And it's cruel to yourself. =)) Live a little. 8D
Also, I won't call you selfish. But I will say that I hope it rains a typhoon only in your area, because I honestly can't handle a flood 2 years in a row. I don't think my Dad can, either. He's getting increasingly tired from work, and I'd rather not have him get killed from all the stress of financial troubles.
Or I'd prefer not to die in a disgusting, muddy flood filled with swimming cockroaches. Awful way to die. It was gross enough SWIMMING in it, let alone DROWNING in it.
I hate third year. D| I feel so tired all the time.
I just fell asleep ago without realizing it. =))
Anyway.
Hope you fell better soon. >:D<
Hmm. Why are we so cynical about life?