Cold as You.

Mm. For some reason, Taylor Swift's old songs came back to haunt me on my Nano.

You have a way of coming easily to me;

and when you take, you take the very best of me.

I'll be fine; I just need.. a change of scenery. (:

So I start a fight, 'cause I need to feel something;

and you do what you want, 'cause I'm not what you wanted.

I don't mind anymore, really. I have.. another outlet, I guess. :D

Oh, what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day;

just walk away, no use defending words that you would never say.

I want .. a puppy. :D A real one. Somebody please get me a puppy? :)

And now that I'm sitting here, thinking it through,

I've never been anywhere cold as you.

I think I see now why people have their addictions. They really, really need somewhere to escape to. I can relate to that. I don't judge them. It's something that's very.. feasible. Something that can make you think, yeah, I can handle this.

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey;

and I stood there, loving you, and wished them all away.

Maybe I'll get an addiction of my own? Haha, nah. I wouldn't do that. It's not so much for myself, as for other people. I don't want to hurt you guys. D:

And you come away, with a great little story,

of a mess of a dreamer, with the nerve to adore you.

I think I'd like to try everything though, at least once. Just for the experience. Drugs, alcohol, nicotine, cutting, everything. I really, really want a little bit of.. everything. Huge slice of life. :D

Oh, what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day;

just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say.

Anyway. Enough of this. Yeah, this is a rant. I'm depressed, is all. I just... eh.

And now that I'm sitting here, thinking it through,

I've never been anywhere cold as you.

*sigh* Books need to be my escape. Trouble is, I'm so eager to be away that every book I have, I devour within a day. It's not fair. Yes, I take the time to read the words and feel the feelings and play the scenes in my head, but.. at the end of the road, it's really just not enough.

You never did give a damn thing, honey,

but I cried, cried for you.

And I know you wouldn't have told nobody

if I died, died for you.

I don't know what's happening. Is it getting worse? Or am I just forgetting how to handle things? I think I've forgotten how to fake my smiles. That's a bad sign. A really bad sign. Fuck this. Honesty is shit.

Oh, what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day;

every smile you fake is so condescending, counting all the scars you make.

I thought it'd be good, you know. Honesty, I mean. I thought it'd help me. I really did. And for the longest time, I tried. I really, really tried to be honest. And y'know what? It made things worse. It made everything worse.

And now that I'm sitting here, thinking it through,

I've never been anywhere cold as you.

I'm not going to make that mistake again. Ever.