Boston--

In the light of the sun, is there anyone?

Oh, it has begun.

Well, hello there.

Today wasn't so great.

Actually, it was pretty effed up.

Oh dear, you look so lost;

eyes are red and tears are shed;

this world you must have crossed, you said --

I think, somewhere along the way..

I forgot how to cry. I really did.

Maybe my tear ducts decided they'd stop

being abused, weeks ago.

That's good to know, I guess.

You don't know me, you don't even care,

you said,

You don't know me, you don't wear my chains.

I wonder.

I've forgotten how to cry, yeah, but..

I've forgotten what it was like to be

relaxed, too.

My mood these days is overpoweringly..

tense.

Essential yet appealed,

carry all your thoughts across an open field.

Well, at least I know that

I haven't stopped being open to people yet.

My heart will forever remain

up my sleeve,

hidden in plain sight.

When flowers gaze at you,

they're not the only ones

who cry when they see you;

you said--

I'm losing people, though.

I've lost.. how many already?

A handful, most likely.

It hurts, too.

You don't know me, you don't even care,

you said,

You don't know me, you don't wear my chains.

What really gets me is that

they were people that

I never really thought I'd lose, y'know?

People I thought would always be there.

She said,

I think I'll go to Boston,

I think I'll start a new life.

I can't believe I've been

wanting to start over since, well, months ago.

I think I'll start it over,

where no one knows my name.

I kind of forgot about that particular want

in the light of the weeks that have attacked me recently.

I'll get out of California,

I'm tired of the weather.

But now it's back.

Maybe I'm just running away, but hey.

What else is left for me, right?

I think I'll get a lover,

and fly him out to Spain.

I just don't want to deal

with all this crap right now, y'know?

Oh, yeah

and I think I'll go to Boston;

I think that I'm just tired.

Maybe I am; I'm tired of

wanting to make sure that

everyone around me is fine;

I'm tired of trying to keep up

with everyone's needs.

I think I need a new town,

to leave this all behind.

I wonder what I'd do, if I were someplace else.

Would I make all the same mistakes again?

Knowing me, most likely.

I think I need a sunrise,

I'm tired of the sunset.

Sunsets are the day's end.

And endings are all I've known this entire

twenty-eleven.

Sad, isn't it?

I suppose I'd like to see a sunrise sometime soon.

I hear it's nice in the summer,

some snow would be nice.

I'd fall for someone that I could never be with;

I'd want someone I'd be too scared to love;

I'd need someone that I could only hurt more.

You don't know me,

you don't even care.

I feel like I'm shutting everyone out.

I can't be doing this again.

I keep bottling everything up, and the implosions

that occur 'cause of that.. argh.

Boston..

where no one knows my name.

Oh, my flipping god.

This is such an angsty.. emo.. depressive entry.

I cannot believe myself.

O_O

I've been degraded into

a worthless piece of sentimental garbage.

Oh, the shame, the utter endless shame.

My profound apologies, dears.

I swear to god, the next entry is going to be a happy one. :D

(PS the song's by Augustana)