I really hate how my ex always seems to be right. Even when we both know we're not interacting with each other ever, ever again.. he's still got the upper hand. It's not that he cares less. I'm pretty sure I've picked up the talent of how not to give a crap from him, or at least the last few months of our relationship.
But even when we're over.. the words he told me ring true. Too damn true. What the fuck.
Fine, you were right. I shouldn't have gone mainstream. It made me lose my sense of self completely. Even if it will totally inconvenience me.. I want to destroy my Facebook account now. I mean, honestly. He sent me like, two lines of text? And that wholly negated all the prompts from everyone else, ever, to make one. DAMN YOU.
And that other thing you said. Long, long ago. About what I should have done, what I shouldn't have done, everything. FUCK IT. I think I'm realizing you were right. I was wrong. I'm always wrong, I guess, when it comes to you. I guess it's just a reflex. With you, I'm always screwing up. It came to the point when I got to thinking that we couldn't exist in any other way. You'd be right, and I'd be wrong, and that was the way it was going to stay, forever.
Even now. You were right, I was wrong. I'm learning to admit it, yeah. Years too late, and I'm sorry for that. It's hard to shake the habit of not being corrected.
So I shouldn't have done that. And I'm starting to regret it, honestly. DAMNIT. Why do I never listen to anyone who's right? I drag myself into all the worst situations. But hey, I guess it's experience. Or some shit like that.
At least I'm pretty sure now that nothing lasts. And thank you, very much, for showing me that I will always, always be strong enough to walk away. I'm thinking I might need that sometime.
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Damn. This got too.. personal.
Then again, this is a blog. So fuck off. Hahaha.
I really don't trust anyone anymore. People are letting their pride and their grudges and their damned emotions get the best of them. I thought that was only me.
But hey, in my defense. I would never, ever, ever, be as shitty as to break confidence just because I got pissed. Honestly.
I don't know what to do with my life. Fuck.
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