I guess I didn't properly fall the first time~

I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain~

Being honest isn't actually part of my personality. It not even part of my daily life. I mean, really. There are a select few who I don't lie to most of the time. Those people are lucky. I mean, really lucky.

I remember years ago, someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love~

Anyway. I guess I should re-begin on a lighter note? Haha.

I got a haircut. :D Also, I'm getting a premium membership for my deviantART! *happy dance* Woohoo.

I've gotten addicted to biking recently, too. I mean, I always used to, and then I stopped, and now I really like it. Seriously. o-o

One minute it's love, and suddenly it's like a battlefield~

My amazing amazing amazing AMAZING cousins came over for the Christmas break. :D I'm taller than Nikole, BAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH. Take that, Medusa!! XD

Kaela was cool. Thank you, for those awesome convo's about how boys are so insane and stupid.

"I love how boys always go after the Hurtado girls." HAHAHA. You're awesome, Kaela.

Nikole is fantastically RETARDED. You know she took over Kaela's convo with Pat Smith?

Pat: (something something) I almost died the other day.

Nikole, pretending to be Kaela: That's awesome! What happened?

Pat: Awesome?!

HAHAHA. Hilarious. Epically evil, but freaking HILARIOUS. Oh, I love you, bitch. :x

....

"The Australian accent is such a turn-on!" I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. OH GOD. Hahaha. Thank you Kaela, for sharing that. OH GOD. Hahahahahahahaaha.

Shoulda known you was trouble from the first kiss~

Anyway. I don't know what I wanna say now. >_> Haha. Today was, well. Erm. Sort of. Uh. HAHA. I don't know what to say, really. I don't know about today. 'Cause, um. Haha. GAH. WAAAAH.

But I do know yesterday and last night were awesome. Cousin sleepovers are THE BEST. :>

Sofia threw a piece of Roca at me. FROM THE HALL. It hit my side. With a SOUND. -__- Damn, that hurt. WTF.

Watching Gilmore Girls was awesome. X3 And that bed, oh god that bed. So comfortable! I mean, seriously. We all agreed: We could live on that bed FOREVER. It was that amazing. o-o

I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven~

Tuesday was absolutely fabulous. Went to Shangri-La. I think all I can say is.. well. Hm. Haha. I don't think I can say anything, much. X3 But my verdict remains. Amazing. Splendiferous! Phantasmagorically fantabulous. Wah.

I was trying to fly, but I couldn't find wings. But you came along, and you changed everything~

"I do love you. Of course I do. Thing is. I might, I just might, be falling in love with you, too. And I don't know how we'll figure that one out."

I refuse to reveal where in hell I picked up that quote. It means something to someone, yeah. (EHERMM DENISE LOVES jafhaodfqgbwribvbroi)

~

Ebenezer?

Bah, humbug. And all that jazz. Haha.

Okay, I don't want to depress you guys. I mean, it's Christmas Eve! X3

So all I'm gonna say is.. here's a big shoutout, to all the people I fucking love so much. I miss you guys. I need you. And without you, I would have fallen apart a hell of a long time ago. :)

In absolutely no particular order...

My best friend. We've been awesome for over six years. I swear to god, one day we'll make an LBP level so epic we'll get a ten-star rating. O_O (By the way. I can put em on and take em off within ten minutes. Wooh. Haha)

My Bambi. I know we rarely ever get along.. but the times we do, we're great. You know that, right? And I abuse you, and you abuse me, and we're so crazy and insane and out of control, but hey. Spice of life, right? I love you, idiot. And when I get back, I'm kicking your ass.

My turtle. Thank you, so so SO much for believing in me. Especially right now, when I really do need it. God, you're amazing. You know that? You seriously are. I don't think there's anyone else in this world who thinks of me like that. Gosh.

My PC. (I'll leave you to figure this out) I almost never win, I know, and I have this constant urge to negate whatever you say or do. But behind all that.. I do care. And.. thanks, you know, for sticking by me. For telling me .. all that stuff. :D

My Garfield. You will NEVER make the connection, but yeah. Haha. You know that you keep me down to earth, when nobody else can? And you're one of the few who will actually dare to tell me that I screwed up, and how. I love you, for not being afraid.

My honeybee. We were made for each other, bee. And even though we're both klutzy and ditzy at times.. at least we've got each other, right? (Though you never really learned to stop breathing)

My beer. There are probably a bazillion things you haven't told me. And yet for some reason I feel like I can tell you everything. I hope you don't cut when you're bored anymore. Go find someone to hump! (>_<)

My sister. Sofia, you are a complete retard. And I know we've nearly killed each other about a dozen times a month, when we were kids... but we're awesome now. And we're above that. WAY above that. Now, let's go stick some fish food in Miles' new bag.

I think that's about it. No way in hell would I ever have forgotten someone.

You guys are the absolute best. And I'll never let you fucking forget it. (:

~Happy Christmas Eve, everyone.

Alakazaaam.

Gaaah. I can't find my phone, and I can't connect to my Skype. O_O Something is severely wrong with this picture.

I get the strange feeling that maybe mom hid it or took it or something. WTF. I swear to god, I'm going to freak the hell out if that's the case. TT_TT

And now, for some reason, Skype refuses to work. I have internet, yes I do, but Skype is like, dead on me. WTF.

AND I have a cold. I wish I had a really bad cold for one whole day, so I wouldn't keep having mini-colds every other day. Damnit.

Sucky morning. Yessirree.

test.

Spiracles

Well, I have no idea where I came up with that title. I don't really think it's any relation at all to my post. XD Anyway.

First things first. Once I'm back at my apartment, if my beloved MacBook hasn't been fixed yet, I'll most likely be out of commission... forever. o-o

*hikbi*

I know I can find ways around that; there's always borrowing, yeah, but y'know, it's just not the same. :( I hate this.

I haven't even transferred most of my files there. >_<>

Oh well. No use crying over spilled milk. Or broken laptops. ......... *sob*

--

Second part of my post! :P

I ran across a meme once, and I actually wrote down my answers for it, but I left the paper back at the apartment. >_> So this is sort of like a new pancake, with batter made from scratch, but not really. Get me? XD

--

Intermission: Check this out. Mine takes 540 thousand years to crack. :P Safe enough.

--

Back to the meme. XD

Three things you want to say to three people you haven't talked to in a while.

Two pieces of conversation between you and two people you talk usually with.

One thing you want to say to one person you talk to constantly.

(gonna continue this later)

Edit! Here it is. :)

Three:

"I actually think you still haven't noticed I hate you. And.. if that's actually possible, I think that makes me hate you more. And I can't believe you actually got a girl. You had the balls to..to..wow. O_e In any case. I hope you never figure out what happened between us, why I hate you so much. You'll try to fix it, and I seriously do NOT want that. Please don't get the idea in your head that I'll ever forgive you. No way in hell am I ever letting myself be your friend again, you needy little twat."

"I'm actually.. pretty grateful I'm not the one you're after. At least, not anymore. I know we haven't talked in forever, and I'm so so sorry, but at least we still realized the other exists, right? XD And you know? I'm so proud of you. You got your life back on track, even without me there to make sure you lighten up once in a while. :) Stay awesome, yo."

"GAH, we haven't talked in forever. I can't believe it. We have have HAVE to go out sometime before the year ends, otherwise I swear to god I might cry. This is just wrong. I can't believer we've barely talked this year at all. I feel like I'm losing you. o-o"

Two:

"So there was this dude named Pietro who danced with his sandwiches to make them the best."

"You have we're dreams. What do you eat for dinner?"

*laughter*

"I don't have weird dreams! Well, there was this Calvin Klein model in there too, and I think I made out with this french girl named Criselda.... yeah, I have weird dreams."

"Dude, I think your maid puts LSD in your rice..."

*laughter*

Haha. I love you, Lil.

*silence*

"What's that sound?"

"What sound?"

*silence*

"That sound!"

"That's me breathing, Ches."

"Well, stop."

"Stop breathing?"

"Yes! It's annoying!"

"Um, okay."

*silence*

"You're doing it again!"

I love you, Tan. :P

One.

Okay, so.. I'm not gonna put this down in the actual words I think you'd say, mainly 'cause I don't know what the hell you'd say, if you'd ever actually say it, or what I'd want to hear you say, and whether'd or not you actually would. You'd always find a way to.. surprise me, when it came to that. I guess that's what makes you special.

But would it kill you to consider me special for once, too? I mean.. you say it, yeah, but.. it's just so hard to believe that you'd mean it. Yeah, I'm your girl. I know it, you know it, pretty much everyone knows it. But could you please make me feel like it's something worth being? Make me feel like I'm not just another nobody you could get over right away? 'Cause at this point, it seems like that's all I am to you. You make me feel like I'm nothing, do you know that? And it's so unfair, 'cause even though there are times when I seriously hate your guts, you always mean at least SOMEthing to me. You're a specific part of my life. And me, I'm just.. nobody to you. If I had to leave forever.. you wouldn't think twice about saying "Cool. Have fun." You wouldn't get depressed, hell you wouldn't even miss me. You'd just shrug it off like it's one more thing to forget about. Another loose end to tie up. I want to feel like I mean something to you. Please. For once?

(This is depressing, WTF)

--

Just something I want to say..

PEOPLE ARE RETARDED. Don't jump to conclusions, jeez. (>_<)

--

I want chocolate. :( And I don't want to eat lunch. =))

Gonna go out shopping later, with mom. I hope she doesn't get it into her head that a skirt would look "cute" on me. o-o

--

I think that's all. :D

House Meme. (:

GRYFFINDOR:
[x]You’ve never done illegal drugs.
[x]You have a lot of friends
[ ]You get along with everyone
[ ]You haven’t made fun of someone for at least two months
[x]You love soccer
[ ]You love baseball
[x]You’re into writing and art
[x]Favorite music genre is pop rock
[ ]You believe in “innocent until proven guilty” theory
[x]One of your favorite colors is red or gold
[ ]Good grades at school
[ ]One of the worst things you can do is lie
[x]You plan on going to college/university

TOTAL: 7

HUFFLEPUFF:
[ ]You’re content with mostly everything in your life right now.
[x]You laugh a lot.
[ ]You like to follow trends.
[x]Politics suck.
[x]You love to swim
[ ]Water polo is awesome
[ ]Pink is one of your favorite colors
[ ]Black is morbid & depressing
[ ]You’re an optimist.
[ ]You’re completely straight edged.
[x]You’re very emotional
[ ]Rap, R&B, & hip-hop is your favorite music genre
[x]You don’t believe in going steady at a young age.
[x]You’ve made fun of at least one person this week.

TOTAL: 6

RAVENCLAW:
[x]You’re depressed to a certain extent.
[x]You love to read.
[x]You appreciate theater & arts.
[x]Sports suck.
[ ]You’re shy.
[x]Loyalty is the MOST important thing in a relationship.
[ ]Hate is completely unneeded.
[ ]Indie is your favorite genre of music.
[x]Every once in awhile you have little anger outbursts.
[x]Lying is sometimes okay
[x]Blue is one of your favorite colors.
[ ]Serious is better than funny.

TOTAL: 8

SLYTHERIN:
[x]There’s at least one person you hate.
[ ]Basketball is a good sport.
[x]Football is amazing.
[x]Black is a cool color.
[x]You’ve lied about something serious.
[x]You’re a very deep person.
[x]You have considered suicide.
[x]Very loyal.
[ ]You like metal.
[x]They make school seem more important than it is.
[ ]You’re scared to grow up.
[ ]You’ve done drugs in the past month
[x]Anger is one of your primary feelings.
[x]You have trust issues.
[x]Guilty until proven innocent.

TOTAL: 11

Holy crap! Looks like I'm in Slytherin. XD Funny, I always thought I was just a little bit better than that. :P Gryffindor, actually. Ravenclaw, if I was being smart and snarky. Oh well. Maybe I'm just a little too rebellious now. :)

Cold as You.

Mm. For some reason, Taylor Swift's old songs came back to haunt me on my Nano.

You have a way of coming easily to me;

and when you take, you take the very best of me.

I'll be fine; I just need.. a change of scenery. (:

So I start a fight, 'cause I need to feel something;

and you do what you want, 'cause I'm not what you wanted.

I don't mind anymore, really. I have.. another outlet, I guess. :D

Oh, what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day;

just walk away, no use defending words that you would never say.

I want .. a puppy. :D A real one. Somebody please get me a puppy? :)

And now that I'm sitting here, thinking it through,

I've never been anywhere cold as you.

I think I see now why people have their addictions. They really, really need somewhere to escape to. I can relate to that. I don't judge them. It's something that's very.. feasible. Something that can make you think, yeah, I can handle this.

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey;

and I stood there, loving you, and wished them all away.

Maybe I'll get an addiction of my own? Haha, nah. I wouldn't do that. It's not so much for myself, as for other people. I don't want to hurt you guys. D:

And you come away, with a great little story,

of a mess of a dreamer, with the nerve to adore you.

I think I'd like to try everything though, at least once. Just for the experience. Drugs, alcohol, nicotine, cutting, everything. I really, really want a little bit of.. everything. Huge slice of life. :D

Oh, what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day;

just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say.

Anyway. Enough of this. Yeah, this is a rant. I'm depressed, is all. I just... eh.

And now that I'm sitting here, thinking it through,

I've never been anywhere cold as you.

*sigh* Books need to be my escape. Trouble is, I'm so eager to be away that every book I have, I devour within a day. It's not fair. Yes, I take the time to read the words and feel the feelings and play the scenes in my head, but.. at the end of the road, it's really just not enough.

You never did give a damn thing, honey,

but I cried, cried for you.

And I know you wouldn't have told nobody

if I died, died for you.

I don't know what's happening. Is it getting worse? Or am I just forgetting how to handle things? I think I've forgotten how to fake my smiles. That's a bad sign. A really bad sign. Fuck this. Honesty is shit.

Oh, what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day;

every smile you fake is so condescending, counting all the scars you make.

I thought it'd be good, you know. Honesty, I mean. I thought it'd help me. I really did. And for the longest time, I tried. I really, really tried to be honest. And y'know what? It made things worse. It made everything worse.

And now that I'm sitting here, thinking it through,

I've never been anywhere cold as you.

I'm not going to make that mistake again. Ever.

Maybe.

Okay, so maybe I don't want to be stuck in a rut my whole life. It's a huge mess.

Showed my cards, gave you my heart;

wish we could start all over,

nothing's making sense at all.

Trying to open up my eyes, I'm hoping

for a chance to make it alright~

So once I get the chance, I'm gonna start all over, and be different, and finally, finally, try to be happy again. You know why? Because happiness isn't supposed to be fragile. Happiness doesn't come with bruises and anger and resentment and scars and twisted, twisted lies. Happiness should be true.

I need another story-

something to get off my chest.

My life gets kind of boring,

need something that I can confess,

'til all my sleeves are stained red

from all the truth that I've said.

Come by it honestly, I swear--

thought I saw you wink, no,

I've been on the brink, so

tell me what you want to hear~

True-- something I haven't been completely, in a long, long time. So much of my life has been focused on keeping at least something from someone. I don't want to be like that anymore. I want, for once, to be able to tell someone the whole truth. I want, for once, not to be judged. It's a pretty crappy dream, considering the kind of world we live in, but hey. Let me be, aryt?

And all the best lies,

they are told with fingers tied.

So cross 'em tight,

won't you promise me tonight

if it's the last thing you do, you'll get out?

Well, anyway. I'm going to be Lorelai and play it cool. Let me get a gun and a rope and I'll whip your pretty little antlers into shape. Because honey, your best feature will always be your legs-and they were made for running away. Try as hard as you can, but that antler-gained "bravery" is just front. They'll get caught in a thicket sooner or later. And I'll be smiling when they do.

And I'm getting bored waiting 'round for you;

we're not getting any younger.

And I won't look back, 'cause

there's no use.

It's time to move forward~

So, anyway. I'm not okay with letting go of my secrecy, though. I mean, it's been such a huge part of my life. But hey, that's what letting go is about, right? Besides. Who knows, I might like wearing my heart on my sleeve. I could start a new trend. ;)

It's the way you do the things you do,

that make me fall in love with you~

To all the people that love me for who I am.. I'm sorry. I may change for the better, or the worse. And I'm changing for myself this time. Make a note of that. It may take forever or a day, but it'll happen. I'm sure.

Don't be so sentimental, no--

this love was accidental, so

give it up, this was never meant to be

more than a memory for you~

To all those people who love me as I am.. you guys are the best. I'll always be me, somehow. Just.. a different kind of me. Dyou get that? I.. hope you're okay with that.

Gosh, I feel like I'm disappointing you all. I mean, you're so used to me being random and weird and slightly loner-esque and moody, and now, suddenly, I announce to the world that I'm going to change? Hell.

Don't worry. It'll take time. Besides. I won't be so different. I hope. (:

Rhinosaur!

Hahaha. Well, today I cut the latter half of my classes and left to go to the airport, which I subsequently left to go to Manila! And here I am now, back in my house. Oh, I love it here.

Love love love love loooove it here! (:

Rhinosaur. It's apparently a new animal created by my sister out of the depths of her imagination, the spawn of a Freudian Slip and a lack of sense. I love my sister! Hahahahaa.

Okay, so maybe I'm just extra happy right now because I'm drinking raspberry cordial and eating a Snickers bar (Hungry? Haha) and my daddy's playing Chopin on the piano, and we're gonna watch Gilmore girls in a few, and there are Christmas decorations all 'round, and everything's just so lovelovelovely. :D

Gosh. I really need to stay here more. I think I'd be in a better mood than I usually am. X3 Oh well. No complaining! Complaints sour my mood, and nothing has to make it bad tonight. (:

--

I'm going to keep daydreaming here; maybe I'll get lucky.

--

"You're like a mythological creature that casts some kind of spell on me that makes me act stupid. I'm not stupid! I don't act stupid with anyone else!"

Aww. Max Medina looks funny, and he's kind of irritating, but.. that line was pretty damn sweet. WOOH.

~

Changed my mind. He's a wuss. -__-

--

Good mood, ruined. Watching shit to keep me sane. I'm gonna raid the 'cellar tonight. Fuck off, bitches.

Peevish

ARGH. My internet is so damn s l o w ! ! !

Aside from that, I have like, zero signal. -__- I need my mom to call! I need to freaking print my ticket! AND I have to freaking pack! AND I have to freaking study!!

I am soooo peeved right now. >_<

It doesn't help that my Coke tastes like liquid cardboard, or that my stuff is such a mess. And to add to the damage, my special, pretty twisty paper memo pad is now broken. FUCK.

--

My flight tomorrow is at two. I'm leaving school at lunchtime, yay. XD Haha. That means I'll miss.. Health, Soc, and Fil. O_e Oh well. Not that hard to make up for em. :D

--

We had the badminton tournament today. I played once; went up against Bea, lost 17 - 21. Good 'nuff for me.

--

Reading Cracked to try and cheer myself up. It's not.. really.. working. :/

--

"Maybe you're wasting all your time looking for Mr. Perfect when all you needed was Mr. Right." Aww. Haha. I know some people like that. ;)

(Not one of them, though. I for one know what it's like to be completely, absolutely imperfect, and still be somewhat okay. Besides. Bambi is awesome. *thumbs up* Woohoo)

--

I think that's all I have time to rant on. >_> I have to leave. FUUDGE. Bye~

Marionettes.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

That phrase just jumped off the top of my head. Seriously, it took a bungee rope and dived headfirst onto my fingers and into the screen. Haha.

Gosh, I really need Coke right now. Like, a lot of it. o-o I'm really, really Coke-thirsty. Oh well.

I have such a huge list of things to do tonight! WAHA.

- Physics take-home problem set. Thank goodness I photocopied Bambi's copy of the problems. Phew!

- Figuring out what kind of people use the right Shift key. O_e Haha.

- Painting the frame of our Soc project gold. I love painting! If we weren't so pressed for time, I'd have more fun.

- Sort through the comments in my dA and try to lessen the onslaught of incoming Deviant messages. O_O

- Try fixing my snake's nest bag. It's almost (hear that, ALMOST) as insanely nasty as Bambi's. And that is SCARY.

- Look for Coke. I want Coke! (>_<)

- A lot of other things that I can't really list down right now, 'cause it's curfew and I have to leave.

WAHAHAHAHAHAAAA. G'bye. (:

Grape

Hrm. Right now I am eating grape-flavored Laffy Taffy, and it's raining. (: Not so hard that I'm happy, but good enough that I'm.. content. :D

Well. I don't want to spoil the movie for you guys, but I'll tell you what you all should know by now:

DEATHLY HALLOWS WAS FUCKING AWESOME.

It totally did NOT disappoint. Mostly everything was done, for want of a better phrase, by the book. Haha.

I don't want to elaborate too much, except that I was kind of disappointed that one crucial line was left out..

"Cinderella? What's that, a disease?"

Ahh, Ron. You will always be a goof. But that's his charm, I guess? I don't know who it works on, though. =)) Maybe Hermione? Meh. I hate that shipping!

Which brings to mind another scene that wasn't quite in tune with the book..

HARRY-HERMIONE FTW. I love that cute little dancing scene. O_O

Also. Emma Watson is INSANELY pretty! Honestly. Oh, damn. I wonder how they'll be once it finally ends. :( God, I'll miss it. Waha.

Oh well. In the words of Nelly Furtado.. Why do all good things come to an end?

But I suppose it's for the better. They'll need to mature as actors, too. We'll be supporting them all the way! :D

--

I've got to do my Soc project, too. Waha. Making arts and crafts things is EASY. Thinking of a "talent" is insanely difficult. O_O What to do, what to do, what to do?! TT_TT

--

And now my eye is crinkling up, as it always does after I eat something sour. XD I shall leave you guys to do whatever it is you do on weekends when the sun don't shine. Haha.

Bye~

Another random survey. :D

Do you ever wish you were James Bond?
--In the words of alkalineuh, FUCK YES. Secret agent, money, sex, gadgets, nigh-immortality, franchise... dude. DUDE. Who could top that? ....Oh yeah. Lara Croft. XD

Who's the one person, family not included, whom you can count on no matter what?
--Aside from my best friend... I have no idea. I honestly don't.

Champagne's not all it's cracked up to be, agreed?
--WHAT. Not true! O_O

Would it hurt to see the last person you had sex with kiss someone else?
--This question is null and void. :D

Will you always love your first love, no matter what?
--... Fuck you. Haha. Yes, though. I will always love him. Not necessarily be IN love, though. :)

How many times have you been to A&E? Like, the channel?
--What IS that? Hahaha.

Have you ever cried over something stupid, like breaking a nail or dropping a pen?
--I've cried over things that seem stupid to some intensely insensitive people (I'm looking at YOU, with the blue-rimmed glasses) but they weren't to me, that's why I cried, obviously.

Bright coloured jeans: cute or not?
--Depends who's wearing em. :D

Why do some people only like bands or styles that aren't popular, and stop listening to a band as soon as "everyone else likes them"?
--Because! The bands change their music to fit the mainstream when that happens. Plus, listening to bands no one else knows makes you feel loner-esque and special. You lose your "originality" when everyone else jumps on the bandwagon.

Have you ever found that those who claim to be "unique," are often the biggest followers of trends themselves?
--No. They'd be redundant. And being redundant, and calling yourself unique, is once again redundant. Thus, they're not unique.

Would you ever get your hair dyed a fluorescent color?
Maybe. No, wait. It would look like shit against my skintone. Nevermind.

What would you do if your best friend was dating a controlling guy?
--If she complained about it? Kick his crotch, then his throat (it hurts, trust me) then his face.

If you had to, which foreign country would you move to?
--Iceland? Italy? AUSTRALIA. :D

Could you eat 6 pizzas in a row, and still be hungry?
--If I'd been starved for years? Yes. XD

Do know anyone who's pregnant?
--Yup! Haha.

If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
--Autumn! (: I love love LOVE that season.

When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?
--Yesterday? Oh, wait I hugged him. I have no idea, then. :/ Meh.

Plans for tomorrow?
--Getting gifts for my SP. :D

What were you doing 2 hours ago?
--Reading stuff. Haha.

Do you like the ocean?
--LOVE IT! (:

Was the first person you talked to today male or female?
--Female; myself. Hahahahaha.

Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
--Wynken! Haha.

What woke you up this morning?
--My intrinsic school-sense that tells me to wake up at 6 everyday. Unfortunately. >_>

Do you know anyone named Lucy?
--Absolutely not. I wish I did, though. D: Then I could call her "Luc" but pronounce it "Loose." XD

Do you wear glasses?
--Shades? Sometimes. Spectacles? Only my boyfriend's. :D

Are you currently jealous?
--Um, fuck you. (No, though. Don't ask why. You won't like my answer)

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

--Sure. I never have, and I never will.

Have you ever in any way been betrayed by someone you trust?
--Yup. Lemme tell ya, that hurt.

How late did you stay up last night and why?
--12. I finished reading His Dark Materials. :D

Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii?
--GREECE! Super-nice people, super-great food, super-awesome sightseeing opportunities! Plus the ocean is like, everywhere. XD

If you were a crayon what color would you be?
--Turquoise, maybe. And NO, NOT THE TURTLE. THAT'S TORTOISE. Hahaha.

How is the weather right now?
--Sunny, slightly cloudy. Yuck.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
--My mom. :D

Ever cried for no reason?
--Absolutely not. The reason could be idiotic (to the boy with blue-rimmed glasses) but it's a reason all the same. (:

How many pillows do you sleep with?

--Here? Three. Everywhere else? Eight. (:

Are you missing someone?
--This is the third time I'm going to say FUCK YOU.

Strawberry~

Have you ever eaten strawberry ice cream? o-o The Selecta Gold Series is especially yummy. I swear! XD

Anyway. I don't know why, but I felt like blogging again. Wooh. Yay me.

We presented in Soc. today. :D And it was SO improvised, I swear. I had to keep reminding everyone that they actually had to SPEAK. Using Tañah, of course. Hahaha.

I'm getting a little better at writing six-word stories. Maybe I'll make that my talent for the next Soc. presentation? XD Because otherwise, I swear to god I do not have one. O_O I am so hopeless! Oh, silly, stupid, talentless me.

I am insanely excited for HP7. YAY!! It's in one week. ONE WEEK!! *dance*

DID YOU KNOW-- My watchers grow so exponentially, it astounds me. dA-wise, of course. I mean, really. I never honestly thought that.. people would like my work that much. REALLY. 'Cause.. I mean. My parents don't even know I write. My best friend is way awesomer than me. My close friends don't know, and I don't think they'd really care. My boyfriend.. well. He's kind of required to like what I write, isn't he? ;) (YES, YES YOU ARE.)

So it's pretty refreshing.. gratifying.. flattering.. surprising.. AMAZING to see that complete strangers, even those whose works and personalities are WAY out of my league, actually think my stuff is worth reading. It really, really is. (:

Oh, well. Enough of me getting all sentimental and parinig. X3

I'm slightly panicking about physics. I really hope I remember to study tonight. XD Hahaha. Oh well. ICE CREAM INSPIRATION FTW.

And, once again.

SOFIA LOVES PUPPIES! (:

I think that's pretty much it, yeah. Wooh. Bye~

Venti

Haha, my title is a pun. Sort of. :D It's ambiguous, and I like that. A lot.

So, anyway. This sem break was good. Really, really good. (that's ambiguous, too) :) Y'know what. I'm beginning to be optimistic again. And not in a cynical way, either. Maybe I'm changing. Well, whatever happened to me, I like it.

Maybe I just needed to be cheered up, maybe I was always changing. Whatever it was, it was good.
And I meant cheered up in the sense that... well. Different people cheer me up in different ways. Maybe I just needed to be cheered up in a certain way. Maybe, if I stay cheery, maybe I'll actually learn to be happy again. (:

Well, enough about that. I guess I'm growing a little bit meaner, too. Or maybe I'm just PMS-ing. XD Hahaha. I don't know why, but when you decide on one thing completely against me... well, just be ready to go it alone, or at least, without me. Because in no way will I participate.

You can say that's immature. Well, let me be immature. You're not supposed to care about me. If you did care, you wouldn't have decided on that, when it was so completely against me. So.. why would you care if I was being immature or idiotic? You don't care about what I want, or even my opinion. So don't rattle off some bullshit about how you're doing it 'cause you care. Lousy, lying hypocrite.

(Also, for those self-loving, hedonistic fools out there: THAT'S NOT DIRECTED AT YOU. The person it's directed at probably won't even read it. CHILL)

So anyway. I read this awesome article on Cracked, telling me how words can control your mind. That thing about the colors was SO true! And I loved the crack at EL TENEDOR! Hahahaha.

Oooh, I love this. Getting my mind off irritating things. (: Oh, I love returning to my optimism. (:

I feel kind of sad, though, that Nikole probably won't be able to stay for my birthday. D: Oh well. Good chance I'll get back there next Easter. That is, if me and Sofia are back from Italy by then. I am seriously excited. SERIOUSLY.

Why? Because Sofia and I bond differently from usual sisters. We've gone through the entire 'I HATE YOU!' phase, and the fighting, and the yelling, and the tattling. We went through all that, intensely, in like, six years. Most people go through it, moderately, their whole lives. Personally, I think we were lucky. This ensures that we will never fight again, ever. (: And I'm so happy!

Plus, I get to climb. AND eat all the good stuff. AND ride a gondola. AND go sightseeing! AND make new friends. GOSH I am so excited! Wooh. WOOOH. Hahaha.

I think I actually do want a venti. Caramel cream, no whip, extra drizzle. My usual! Or maybe vanilla, with a dash of hazelnut. Gosh, I love coffee. I really, really do. I need it too, sometimes. D: I can't get Starbucks here, though. Waha. Maybe someday.

Also. I just realized. Maybe I really want to go to UM for college. Maybe somewhere in London. I do know that I want to go somewhere that isn't insanely religious and conservative. I've had enough of that my entire life. So.. yeah. Excited for that, too! (:

I'll buy my SP gifts this weekend, maybe. Haha. Ouch, my fingertip hurts. D: Waha.

I love butter caramel XO. :D

I think this is all I've got to say. That, and.. I'm really craving some Milo right now. Just a bit. XD (ambiguous again! I love this)
Oh, and..

SOFIA LOVES PUPPIES! Especially puppies that like pizza. And shuttlecocks. And mistake Italy for Paris. XD Wow, I hope her puppy gets potty-trained.... Kidding. Hahaha.

Anyway. Curfew now. Good night! :D

(As for my previous post.... I think I take some of it back, now. I was carried away. Not saying WHICH previous post this is, though. Wooh)

~

Shit.

I'm.. freaking out. I am totally freaking out. FUCK.

This cannot happen. Shit.

If this happens.. I will seriously, seriously have a breakdown.

I will seriously, seriously do something drastic. I will not.. let this happen without my trusty emotions getting involved.

Time to bring out the Swiss.

With their Army.

With their knives.

--

Honesty.

So I figured, since I had nothing better to do, and I spend a hell of a lot of time slithering lies into all my words, I'd try and tell the truth a little bit, as a sort of dare to myself. (:

1. Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

a. Happy monthsary. I love you. (:
b. When can I sleep over? XD
c. Stay for my birthday, PLEASE. :(
d. I really do hope you'll get better. Not necessarily for me, but for everyone else.
e. You wanna hang out sometime soon? I really miss you.
f. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE, CUNTFACE.
g. You're gay. If you'd grown some balls in the entire time we'd been friends, maybe I wouldn't hate you so much.
h. For once, can I not be your paper doll? Can I, for once, be human to you?
i. If you're just gonna keep stuff from me, what's the point of our friendship?
j. You know what, sometimes you can be a real bitch. It gets irritating.

2. Nine things about yourself.

a. I'm random. Live with it.
b. Unless you learn to play along when I'm being crazy,
our conversations will remain mundane.
c. I love reading. Don't call me a dork for it.
d. I'm perfectly fine being alone with a book and some good music.
Why do people never understand that?
e. I'm not going to socialize one purpose, unless I have a
damn good reason. Don't try to force me.
f. I go climbing, I want an ATV, I like heights. Don't freak out.
g. Unless I'm being hyper,
or I know you too well,
I don't agree when you compliment me.
h. I spazz out randomly. :D
i. I will not ditch my friends for anything.
I will find reasons to ditch people I hate, though. (:

3. Eight ways to win your heart.

a. Tell me I'm pretty. I'll say I'm not, but hey. A little flattery never hurts.
Give me cute little nicknames. Maybe, just maybe, I'll give you some, too.
b. Read my work, and tell me what you honestly think.
Writing's important to me.
c. Be able to talk to me about anything.
Sex, love, drugs, God, books, TV, homework. Laugh.
d. Stay up late with me, for me, because of me.
I swear this really, really means a lot.
e. Tease me. Haha. Not.. cruelly. Just enough to make me laugh.
And if I start sulking, refer to letter a. KIDDING. XD
f. Tell me everything about you. I love knowing things, but I don't like prying.
g. Hang out with me.
Walking, talking, messing around is always fun.
h. Be spontaneous. Be random. Be awesome, just the way you are.
Most importantly.. don't ever fake anything to get to me. I'll hate you.

4. Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

a. Does he still love me?
b. Damn, I need a new book.
c. Do we have homework?
d. Don't eat. Do NOT eat. Resist. Control yourself.
e. I really, really want some gummi bears right now.
f. I wish I was climbing, or at least flying. Jeez.
g. FUCK YOU, PRUDE. FUCK YOU.

5. Six things you wish you'd never done.

a. Stopped climbing.
b. Forgotten the code to my old phone.
c. Eaten so many fries.
d. Not studied.
e. Messed up.
f. All that shit.

6. Five people who mean a lot.

a. My dummy.
b. My best friend.
c. My sister, Sofia.
d. My parents.
e. Myself. KIDDING. I dunno. (:

7. Four turn offs.

a. Being depressive. I honestly hate that.
b. Ditching me for something stupid.
c. Extensively praising someone else who I am not praising.
d. Comparing me.. to anyone.

8. Three turn ons.

a. Eyes. Seriously, gorgeous eyes are a killer.
b. Pecs. Forgive me for being concerned with the physical, but.. I mean, really.
It's sort of a "whoa" factor. Good pecs means the rest of you would be much the same.
And, I mean, how can you not look at them and not think, "Please hold me."
c. A slight arrogance. You need to know you're worth it.
I don't like having to be the one to make your self esteem from scratch.

9. Two events/actions that describe your life right now.

a. Playing my shuffle on speakers.
Can't change the song, can't pause.
It's only on or off, and the one thing I can adjust is the volume.
b. Reading a book.
Turning back the pages only tells me what I already know,
and maybe tells me some other things I hadn't observed before.
But the only way to know everything is to keep going.

10. One confession.

You know what.
No matter where in hell we end up, I think I'll always love you.
I can hate you, sure, and I won't necessarily be in love with you, but the fact remains.
I can't, won't stop.
And nothing, I repeat nothing, will ever be able to change that.
I just wish you knew.

~

Well, I suppose that's all. :D
Phew, this is hard work. Better go lie some more, make sure I
don't get too honest.
Kidding.

(On a lighter note.
We're finishing Gilmore Girls season two later! :D
Haha. Marathon!)

~the Raspberry Scribbler.

Back to December

~

I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever,
we small talk, work and the weather;
Your guard is up and I know why.

'Cause the last time you saw me
is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride
standing in front of you, saying "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right;
and I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping,
staying up, playing back myself leaving,
when your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times;
I watched you laughing from the passenger side,
and realized I loved you in the fall.

And then the cold came, the dark days when the fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love
and all I gave you was goodbye.

So this is me swallowing my pride
standing in front of you, saying "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind;
and I go back to December all the time.

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile
so good to me, so right.
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
the first time you ever saw me cry.

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
probably mindless dreaming;
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door, I understand.

So this is me swallowing my pride
standing in front of you, saying "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right;
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind.

And I go back to December all the time;
all the time.

~

I love you, okay? Forgive me if it's hard for me to swallow the fact that I'll never see you again in less than two years.

I'm not you. Everything that happened can't just mean nothing to me like it can to you. I can't just not care. I can't shrug off living without you just like that.

Forgive me for having these idiotic fucking emotions. I'm sorry; sorry that I'm stupidly, mindlessly, recklessly, uselessly in love. I can't help it. I can't forget everything that happened.

But I guess I'll have to.
--

Intrams 2010 :D

Tuesday

Lalala. Haha. Well, today was the first day. I got to school late. D: Didn't get to see my Bambi go swimming. :( Oh well. Tomorrow, I shall be early! XD

Also, our feeble attempts at "cheering" were.. well.. feeble. Hahaha. Seriously, people said they barely even heard us. (>_>) But oh well. At least we tried! ..Sorta.

Well, that's one major even down. I joined dodgeball, too. Though I was pretty damn discouraged by.. something. One of the girls, Kim, fell on her knee and dislocated her femur from her kneecap. OUCH, man. She didn't cry, but her sister did. I freaked out just thinking about it. AGH.

(One of the few things I'm scared of: PAIN. I can do pretty much anything if I knew there was no chance it'd hurt. AND that I'd get into trouble. Haha.)

Ho hum. What else happened today?

Tres Marias had a reunion!! What brought us back together? SECRET. Hahaha. Blue eyeliner! We felt purdy. XD (Plus Carleen, who tagged along. :D FCLA FTW! --pronounced FUH-KHLAH FOR THE WIN!)

I also have load!! Hahaha. :) Oh and I ate two burgers today. XD WTF. Anyway. I think that's all there is to say. I shall be editing this tomorrow, and Thursday. Which reminds me. I must pack. XD

Bye, for now. (:

Wednesday

What happened today? I didn't play anything. Mostly watched people. :D It was fun, though. We ordered! And he ended up wanting twister fries. Haha. XD

(Also, we made out a bit. Haha. Shh)

I don't think there's anything else of note. Today was the boring day.

OOH. He chased me across the quad after dismissal. XD 'Cause.. I felt like it! Haha. The floor was wet, mind you. And I didn't slipfalldie. Congratulate me! :>

Thazall, folks. ;)

Thursday

Waha, today's the last day of Intrams! O:

What to say, what to say. Well. We ordered. AGAIN. O_O He ordered FOUR sets of Twister Fries. And got a stomach ache after, serves him right. :P

(Sometime in the morning, on our way to the GrandStand, he randomly said out of nowhere. "You have a fine ass." Seriously, what the hell. HAHAHA.)

I don't think I feel like going to Intrams Night. (>_<) Not my thing. But oh well. Apparently I must "socialize." Bleh. Haha.

OOH. Cool thing. Softball game, Juniors vs. Alumni. BOYS. And you know what? Our boys beat 'em HARD. That's one of the few times I was so happy and proud to be in my batch. We can be really retarded and irresponsible and not united, but DAMN, we can play.

(We, meaning the people who play sports. Not me. Haha.)

I think that's all. (:

(*sigh* Songs make me sad. Taylor Swift, you talented girl. Your songs always kill me. Oh well. Depression is good. Less eating. Haha)

Bye~

Lest ye become a monster~

That line in my title is from a quote by Nietzsche;

"Battle not with monsters
lest ye become a monster;

and if you gaze into the abyss,
the abyss gazes also into you."

It's a very true quote. In fighting our demons so fiercely, how can we not help but become one of them?
In a similar way, we try our hardest to solve all the "big" problems, but every careless step we take to find the solution, we make dozens of seemingly negligible nuisances, until they start piling up. And that's when things get dirty.

I mean, c'mon. You think everything's small potatoes until the potatoes pile up. You'd think you were encountering something big, until you're up against something bigger, and you start thinking what you went through before was nothing, really.

In short, life's a bitch. Haha.

But I guess that's just a frame of thought. I may not be so.. profound in other cases. :D

For some reason, right now I'm fascinated with Space. Tiny pinpoints of light against a backdrop of pure nothingness. That, it seems to me, is what Hope really is. It doesn't matter how black it gets, or how few and far apart the specks are. What matters is that they're still there.

Then again, those lights could be dead. Our Sun could die and we'd feel the backlash only in a few minutes. Neptune would receive it in nearly two hours. The stars we see, how are we sure they're still burning? We get the aftermath of the supernovas probably centuries later, and all we see is beauty. That thing died, and all we can do is point and scream "Purdy!"

Now, if only we thought about everything else like that. Imagine, if there are infinitesimally tiny beings screaming in glorious wonder every time you crushed a bug or ripped a weed up by its roots. Maybe the stars are the gnats of the macroverse, and we're amazed at the beauty of it all and trying to predict them with equations and experiments, and at the end of all that, they'd just smacked against the proverbial windshield.

Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Then again, life is just a matter of perspective, isn't it? You have to know how to tilt your head to connect the dots right. All that really limits you is your imagination, screw the physical world. And even then, you can dream up anything.

You'd never know what it's like to imagine an illogical world. I mean, really. If you imagined something like venomous spaghetti with a taste for carrot-eyed raisins, or a talking leaf shooting dozens of fish through its stomata, it's not really impossible. That notion, that idea, that thing, is in existence, albeit in your mind.

Time is a still lake, not a flowing river. Things are in each moment, like they are in each place. The difference is, a million things could be in a moment, and only one thing can be in one place in one time. Or maybe that's just my perspective. Then again, I don't think my brain could swallow all that just yet, the idea of more than one thing being in in one point in space in one point in time. It's just all so... Whoa. Haha.

--

I guess now I realize what got my dad so fascinated with Physics. It's complicated, but that complexity is what makes it so goddamn beautiful. It's difficult, sure, but when you finally understand, you'll appreciate that. It really wouldn't be half so amazing if all the answers were handed to you on a silver platter, am I right?

But now, I must go. Man, this has been one amazingly deep entry. o-o

And so, to wrap it up and see me off, I shall end with another of Nietzsche's well-known quotes:

"Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane
by those who could not hear the music."

~the Raspberry Scribbler.

Shiny big black cars

Well, it's intrams next week. Hurray. :D

Also, I have badminton later. I will die. >_> But oh well. For the greater good, I'm sure. I will not relent! *fist pump* ...Ow, my shoulder.

Kidding. I'm not that weak. ;)

I have made my entire screen one huge sticky note! :D And I love the font it's in, too. So much that I'm gonna make this post in that font. And maybe if I like it enough, I'll switch my blog's main font to that one. XD

There's no internet. :( Waha.

And I HAVE NO LOAD. TT_TT What am I going to dooo.

Oh, look. I mooched off my neighbor's internet. XD Because they so kindly gave me their password a few days ago. Haha. Having an apartment with nice neighbors is cool.

Now, if only we had really cool barbecues every now and then.. GAH!

I've done something I don't normally do. This is bad for my metabolism. And it's one more reason I should seriously get into the badminton.

I. Ate. Six burgers. In. One. WEEK. O_O

I feel so ashamed of myself. That's SIX TIMES MORE THAN I'VE EATEN IN THE PAST EIGHT YEARS. Fuck. I'm a pig. I'M A FUCKING PIG.

*sigh*

Now. Time for something funny, to get my mind off this stressful topic.

... You know what, nevermind. I'm not in the mood.

.. Ah, what the hell. Haha. No harm in trying. (I found this on the net, so if it doesn't make you laugh, it's not my fault. XD Bahaha.)

Army -- No retreat, no surrender!
Air Force -- No guts, no glory!
Navy -- No pain, no gain!
Police -- No valor, no honor!

Security Guard -- No ID, no entry!

BLEH. Hahaha.

(The radio is making me .. soupy. To use my best friend's term. Hahaha.)

I need more movies//songs to download. (>_<) Waha.

But hey. I'm going home next week! (or, if you count Sunday as the first day of the week, this week. Haha)

And daddy owes me a new jacket. XD And mom has promised to get me some new things. But I felt like crying when I realized there was a Von Dutch in SM over here, and I couldn't go. It was like a physical pain, really.

No, I'm not being materialistic. I love Von Dutch. I had some awesome memories in those shops. Ninety per cent of my clothes come from there, honestly. Blouses, dresses, shoes, jeans. It expresses my personality completely. You have no idea how hard it is to find a store that can do that.

Rebellious, comfortable, moody, colorful, random.
(and, of course, AWESOME. *grin*)

Well, anyway. I think this is all I've got time for. I love typing when the font is pretty. XD

--the Raspberry Scribbler. ;]

Paper faces on parade~

Meh. I don't feel like being nice. Today sucks.

Tomorrow will suck, too. For one reason alone. But.. meh. I'll live with it.

I actually don't give a damn about most other people. If they judge me, they judge me, and I resent them for it. If they don't, I won't. Jeez.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. --Dr. Seuss! :D

Also, apparently his name is German, and pronounced "Soice." Cool. Wikipedia is your friend! Haha.

Anyway. Back to depression? I think so.

The rain won't even calm me down today, but fuck that. I'm so.. sick of this. I hate how my mood can change. I hate how everything is so inconsistent, how it can't be all good so I love it or all bad so I hate it. Damn.

Hm. Off the top of my head, three things I want right now.

3. Escape. You will never know how badly I need (yes, NEED) this because you will never understand. I need to know what it feels like to be more than just half of a whole. I need to know how to feel loved, for once. Loved, completely. Unconditionally. I need it to be tangible.

2. Comfort. It's been so long since I last had this, that I honestly don't remember what it feels like. I don't think I'll ever remember, as long as I keep living like this. I want, for once, to be at ease again. Without having to look out for more than myself. I want to learn to care for MYSELF for once. Because I know you can't do it. And I don't want to force you anymore.

1. Release. I need to blow off some steam. Mostly in the form of ranting to my best friend. Or even just talking to her. Why? Because she never judges me. I can act retarded or bitchy and it's gonna be okay. I never had that with you. But that's alright. I don't think I'll ever need to.

*sigh* This became less of a rant and more of a parinig, but hey. I get to do what I get to do, right?

In the immortal words of one of my most awesome friends:

Ang loser mo, pare.

Fudge makes up for lack of Spag. Seriously.

Talking to my cousins cheers me up. I love you guys. Nikole and Crissy, FTW.

>:D<

So, yeah. I'm just going to.. not care anymore. Honestly. I'll just leave you alone. Completely. You want that anyway, right?

Have fun.

Foul mood.

When will you learn that I don't appreciate being compared?

You know what, why don't you just replace me? Because I never asked you to "fix" me, anyway.
Remember that.

-

You keep going on about how you're trying to improve me, since you "care?" You're not "improving" me properly. Haven't you figured out yet how exactly to get me to do something?

Hint: It's not by comparing me to anyone.

All that will achieve is me sullenly accepting it, and resenting you for it, forever. You know how well I can hold a grudge. You know how easily I can pretend I'm fine with it, and just bottle it up so I can explode sometime.

-

You know what? You don't even have to "encourage" me anymore. I've stopped expecting that. I've learned it's so much better not to; that way I won't get my hopes up, and I won't hate you when you crush them.

Damn, I've really got to learn to stop caring completely. You know why that's so hard for me now? Because you were the one who actually taught me to care for something other than myself. And now I'm trying to forget that, but it's not easy. And it's all my fault, actually, for letting myself care.

So I'm not blaming you. I can't blame you, anyway. The blame's always on me, isn't it? That's how it's always been, that's how it'll stay.

-

You know what? I'll just be patient. I can do that.

Maybe your temper and impatience will get the best of you, and you'll just do what we've always known you would. Because I'm anticipating that already.

There's only one possible outcome, if you're considering the long term. I think you know what that is. So.. you don't have to wait 'til then, if you can't. I'll understand.

-

I guess what I'm trying to say is.. thanks for the memories.

I'll be fine. I promise.

Pained throat.

I badly need to write Chapters five, six and seven of Nova. (Yes, I'm thinking of using that as the title now. Dreadfully boring, but still) :D

Good news. I'm trying to get more views for my story, since that's like, the one piece of writing I have ZERO confidence about. O_O

So, here are the links, since you won't find my story in KlutzInk:

Writers' Café

StoryWrite

And, just because I like linking...

"Hey baby, is it okay that I'm on top? 'Cause I'm pretty much over you already,"

amirite?

So awesome. XD

That's all, for now. :D

making Ice Cream.

I'm with Tañah!. Yay us. XD

We're missing the vanilla extract and ziploc bags, though. D: But oh well. Waiting for a miracle.

We're missing alka seltzer for our other experiment, too. D: Wahaha. I don't wanna do the virtual labs. :( Virtual labs are stupid. And useless. And annoying. Grr.

I feel like listening to Maroon 5's new album. :D I wonder if it's any good.

I do know I really want the MCR album, though. GAH. Still excited! XD

I lost 4k, for some reason. :| I'm SO. FUCKING. SCREWED. GAAAAH.

Imma starve next week. And every week after that for everyone's gifts. I'm so screwed. GAAAH. I hate this. Fuck this. T_T

(Is sad)

..

(Is still sad)

..

(Needs a hug)

..

(sigh)

..

I'm gonna go binge first. T_T Too depressed to consider much else.

~

Possible Revamp.

Lalala. Haha.

I feel like revamping my blog, just because. X3 I'll keep black as the main color, of course. It'll go with any color to match my mood. Haha. But.. I just want to.

I'm not sure if I want to change the blog URL, though. Maybe not? ..Nahh. Keep it as it is. :D

I don't think many people will notice, though. TT_TT What's a good way to get more views?

Oh well. I need to find a way to get Century Gothic as the viewable font for every browser. ):

~ the Raspberry Scribbler.

I want Gardenia.

I'm hungry. Really hungry. And there's nothing here I'd like to eat. -__- Suffice it to say that I am NOT pleased with this current situation.

Also. I'm in the middle of writing Chapter Two of... (it's untitled for now. I need some help) and I'm feeling very upset about how it's all going. There hasn't been any dialogue so far, and I'm already 280 words in. I hate dragging on and on, but I can never seem to stop. Damn this.

Also, genius. If you do that one more time, I really will get fed up, and I'm removing the restrictions because I will honestly stop caring. It's either that, or if you do it one more time, you will get no Camo, no games, no gifts, nothing. AND I'm confiscating your PSP. Think about that. You know what I'm talking about.

So, anyway. I'm also kinda pissed that .. eh, never mind. I forgot what it was. -__- Haha.

You know what? I really hate people who think they have flawless grammar, and then say shit like

".. the question asked to you."

THAT ISN'T RIGHT, DIPSHIT. The proper phrasing would be

".. the question you were asked."

".. what was asked of you."

That wording defies logic and sense. In that fucking order.

".. given to you." denotes you were given something, but that does not mean

".. asked to you." denotes you were asked something.

".. asked to you." denotes that it was something you were asked with. Now, think about that. Would you really use the phrase,

"I was asked with my favorite color," in good sense?

"My favorite color was asked to me." Seriously. What the hell?

"The question I was asked concerned my favorite color." --take note, for the idiots, this does NOT mean the question made the color worried. Just clearing that up.

"My favorite color was what was asked of me." --the double "was" doesn't make this redundant, idiot. Jeez.

Honestly. What the hell is wrong with you? -__-

For those who don't claim to be perfect, then yes. You have the good excuse of not knowing this. That's pretty fine. It'll irk some of us grammar Nazis, but we'll either politely correct you, or politely not.

For those who do, well then, fuck you.

Plain fucking fuck you.

~the Raspberry Scribbler.

Indubitably

9.27.2010

I like the word indubitably. It sounds so cute. Haha

Indubitably: Being impossible to doubt; Being unquestionable.

Indubitably, I am in much pain from the wound on my lip. (>_<)

It does hurt. D:

I haven't seen my dentist in over two months, that's why. O_O I think some of my wires are coming loose, and the metal on my molars is really painful. Waha.

But anyway.

--

I need to memorize my speech by tonight! D: And, as Maria stated so well,

"The pressure's on her; her character is famous."

Damnit. Why did I have to get Caligula, of all emperors? Why couldn't I have gotten one of the ones who weren't so well-known? Did it have to be so.. Argh. T_T

And so I must act insane tomorrow, and be very, very demeaning and vainglorious and.. and.. *sigh* This is so draining. I don't feel it. I really don't.

--

I'm really hungry right now, too. T_T I really really want a huge lasagna. Hot red sauce and large chunks of sausage; layered between thick, wavy slices of pasta and smothered with a gallon of melted cheese. And some Coke, too. :( Me hungwy. HUNGWY! *is sad*

--

I'm watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone right now. The first two movies really are different from the last four. I think I like them better when they stuck to their uniforms more, and didn't just wear casual dress all the time. (>_<) And I think the actor for Dumbledore in the first two movies was better, too. Somehow.

But I still appreciate how well the movies stay true to the book. I don't think anyone would appreciate it much if they screwed it up. We're talking a major fandom here. You can't just make a mistake and say Sorry. People will be out to get you. Count on that.

--

My Internet has stopped, too. Damnit. This really, really, sucks. 

--

I hate my mom. She won't get me any nice teacher. Damnit. I feel so.. useless. *sigh* If I could teach myself, I would. God-fucking-damnit. I'm so pissed off right now.

I think that's all the energy I have right now. Time to eat. 

~ the Raspberry Scribbler. :D

Shuffle along, now.

Okay, so I haven't talked to my mom in more than a week. Almost two, actually. I wonder who's going to cave first. I do hope it won't be me. (>_<)

It appears my class (at least, according to Minnie) wants me to be Miss America. >_> I don't want to be, actually. I really don't. I don't feel up to answering stupid questions or dressing up in red, white and blue. Honestly. I just want to get this weekend over with. I really don't feel like I can do this anymore.

That goes for just about everything, too. (Shush.)

I feel so exhausted when I get home every day. Classes have lost what was barely even letting them pass off as interesting, at least for me. Talking to people has lost, not all, but.. much of its luster. 

Maybe I'm becoming a recluse once again? Ha. I doubt it. As long as my current state of affairs holds fast, I will not return too easily to how I once was. It's just not going to happen. Not soon, at least. :/

On the upside. I'm almost done with NEXT, by Michael Crichton. Very... insightful. It really makes you think. I don't want to go into the details (I'll leave you to go check it out on your own. Haha) but let's just say... Humans can be SO infuriating. 

Also. I don't understand why people draw SUCH a bloody line between Science and Religion. (I'm going to take the rest of this in the context of Christianity, since that's what's on all my official papers, and I'm not too familiar with many other religions.)

God made everything on this Earth, am I right? God made everything in this universe. I have no problem with that. God made the people, the trees, everything. You could argue that He didn't make "technology" (in the very public, washed-out sense of the word) e.g. cellphones, laptops, iPads, forks, plastic bags, bridges... it goes on. But He pretty damn well gave us more than enough to make them. They've all been made, one way or another, no matter how indirectly, from what's around us; Nature. And who made Nature? God.

I'm not trying to sound like a preacher. I'm just.. telling you what I think. If you don't want to read on, there's a red button on the upper corner of this page. Click it. 

Moving on. *ahem* God also gave us free will. That's been very well established by many, many people. You can do what you want, but everything you do has a consequence. It's not just some random thing some old men spouted off to get people to do the "right" thing, it's a Law. Go read up on some Newton. (to any classmates. BLEH. Haha)

Atheists say this isn't right, because God supposedly wants us to do good all the time, and if we don't do good, don't repent, and don't worship Him, we shall go to Hell. Well, that seems plausible enough. He's not stopping you from doing whatever you want. He may want you to do something else, but He can't MAKE you do that. That's the point of free will. Do it, but remember there are consequences.

People also get worked up about ethics. Well, yes. There are many different types of people in this world, thus of course there would be many different opinions of what constitutes good ethics and moral conduct. Good form, as Peter Pan would've said it. 

Well, I'm not one to judge. I basically live by reciprocation: Leave me alone and I'll do the same, be nice to me and I'll do the same, fuck me up and I will resent you for life and badmouth you to whomever I can. You can say the last one is pretty bitchy, but hey. You started it.

About abortion (though I am preparing a much better blog on this): I don't mind, much. People try and get you with the "perspective argument":

"How would you feel if you were aborted?" -- I don't think fetuses have fully developed their nervous system yet Also, if I WERE aborted, I wouldn't be here. I would never have known what it was like to live; I would never have had the capacity TO know, at all. In short: How would I feel? I wouldn't; both physically and"emotionally."

"How would you feel if you were pregnant and had to abort?" -- The fact is, I would never have sex before marriage without protection. It's just stupid, since society today decrees it's.. irresponsible. Aside from that, there would always be a morning-after pill. Barring that, if it every really DID happen, then... I would abort, since you just said I HAD to. I've got no other choice, right? 

"How would you feel if your friend had to abort her child?" -- If she needs me to hold her hand through it all, I will. She's my friend after all. That's what I'm there for. I won't lecture her, except to say if she doesn't want to do this again, suggest she be better protected. 

"How would you feel if you were asked to abort someone's baby?" -- Correction: fetus. It's a fetus til it leaves the womb. Also, I have zero knowledge of what abortionists do. I couldn't do it, really. Sorry.

On stem cell research. Nearly the same argument as on abortion, really. I think that's pretty much all I've got to say on it. 

People say looking into the structure of things is Satanic, against God, blasphemy, blah blah blah. I don't believe that. We just want to know what makes us tick. We will always have that incessant need to KNOW. Without it, the human race would have died out eons ago, really. Ho hum. 

People cross breeding different species? Well. That's what we had to do to survive, you know. Less artificially, though. Haha.

I think that's all I can manage tonight; curfew has come upon me. Whoops. Haha

G'night then. :D

~the Raspberry Scribbler.

Louder than God's revolver and twice as shiny.

Listen up!

The future is bulletproof; the aftermath is secondary.

It's time to do it now and do it loud.

Killjoys, make some noise!!

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na------

~~

Okay, I've officially caught MCR fever. :D

GOSH, I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE ALBUM!! XD

Every time I even see the word "Na," the song from the trailer starts playing in my head. Over and over and over again. o-o I cannot believe this.

I mean, finally! They finally have a new album, four years after they let out Black Parade (which was, in my opinion, their best; though they had me hooked even from Bullets) and, let me just speak for all those true blue, die hard, MCRmy killjoys out there:

IT DAMN WELL TOOK THEM LONG ENOUGH.

But hey, it's damn well worth the wait, too. You cannot deny that. Every single album is a masterpiece; and their songs will get stuck in your head for days on end, making you wonder just how exactly they could've written so damn honestly.

I think that's what makes up ninety percent of MCR's appeal, actually. How the lyrics just seem to be so right for YOU. How they seem so true, and they make your pain melodic and bearable and amazing. How real they are, how gripping, how bittersweet. It'll make you come back for more, for sure.

I mean, really. How many of us didn't sort of swoon just hearing Helena, and later finding that, HOLY CRAP, AWW, they wrote it for Gee and Mikey's grandmother, who'd encouraged them in nearly everything? It's so hard to express those feelings in ways that so many others, the whole world over, would be able to understand and love.

Oh, look at me, all fangirly and shit. XD

Okay, it's true, maybe this video sort of shows they're going in a different direction, and they've lost Bob, but hey. Real fans wouldn't let them down, right? We'll be there for them through the blood and the guts and the glorious savagery of it all.

And I'm pretty sure this new album, like all their past ones, will not disappoint. They are about quality, not quantity, and quality, we know pretty damn well they have.

So, on an ending note, let me just say:

LOOK ALIVE, SUNSHINE! KILLJOYS, MAKE SOME NOISE!!

Index Cards.

Okay, so this won't really be about index cards. XD

But I love index cards, actually. I adore writing random useless notes on them and crossing things out. XD It's so fun to feel accomplished!

But anyway.

So my dad called the other day, and started asking me why I haven't called mom and apologized yet. I can't believe I was so idiotic as to actually take that call. T_T Of course I couldn't tell him I was mad at her, otherwise they might impose a worse curfew on me, but eh. I will not surrender. I'm too stressed as it is from all this stupid shit they're throwing at me; I am NOT going to apologize first.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I never apologize for the important shit. Or if I do apologize, and you think I actually mean it, then good for you. Gullible little fuckwad.

Honestly. You can't expect a kid to be BORN responsible. You also can't expect someone who was responsible back then to always STAY that way.

But enough of that.

My Premium Membership is about to expire! D: Ohnoes. This isn't fair. D: Ah well. It was fun while it lasted. XD At least I got to abuse the Journal Skins feature! Haha. XD

I still haven't finished the stupid concept papers I have to finish this weekend. Mine and his. D: Almost done with his, though, and I just need to put some finishing touches on mine. Yay. XD

I miss you. T_T Call me. Please. I'm dying from boredom here. :(

Waha. There is nothing to drink, and my mouth is so damn dry. GAAH. I may create a random list later on. :D

~ tRS